Bill Maher Doesn't Know Crap

Political humor time! Well sort of, I guess this is more religious humor.

Bill Maher was seated next to a little girl on an airplane, turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book,replied "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said Maher "How about why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

Maher, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea.."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know crap?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

"It is pointless to resist, my son." -- Darth Vader
"Resistance is futile." -- The Borg
"Mother's coming for me in the dragon ships. I don't like these itchy clothes, but I have to wear them or it frightens the fish." -- Thurindil

Well. I guess that's that then.

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Posted on Jun 17, 2012 9:05 pm by Samson in: | 5 comment(s) [Closed]
Oh, man, that's a burn. :lmao:

She told him.

Although, I've got a feeling that by that definition we all probably don't know crap either. :imp:

Although, I've got a feeling that by that definition we all probably don't know crap either. :imp:

I grew up on a farm, i have seen the shit. I have been in the shit, i have had the shit beat out of me, i have been up shit creek without a paddle and i have been called full of shit. I think i am an expert on shit.

Anonymous [Anon] said:
Comment #4 Jun 26, 2012 1:00 am
He could have googled for it:
A combination of things is involved. The answer lies in large part in the digestive tract itself. In animals such as rabbits, the feces are formed into pellets by the colon, which pushes them out into the rectum rhythmically, leading to a fairly uniform shape and size. Of course, the rectum also plays a role. Some animals have internal muscles that control the process to a degree, such that each fewmet comes out virtually the same size and shape--essentially, the rectum acts a lot like a press (maybe a better analogy would be a sausage-making machine). Caterpillars, which lack a colon or sphincter, derive the shape of their droppings entirely from the rectum, while the dropping shapes of animals such as goats, deer, and rabbits are due to a combination. Horse apples are not quite as consistent, but they're close. When the feces are more amorphous, only the anal sphincter contributes to the shape; if the sphincter stays open a long time, you tend to get long, unbroken masses, as in humans. The phenomenon doesn't correlate strictly with a fibrous diet (though the pellets would probably not hold their shape otherwise), since animals like cows and buffaloes have a fibrous diet but most definitely have soupy poop. Obviously, the digestive process itself--which is different in ruminants such as cattle--is also a factor.

So, to recap, the #1 factor is the colon, #2 is the rectum (and possibly sphincter), and #3 is the diet and how it's digested (that is, those factors which determine the consistency of the feces itself).

Isn't this a recycled joke with a name change? I could have sworn I'd seen this one pass through my email a few different elections now..

Fury, that may be more than we wanted to know about you. ;)

Thank you for that wonderfully enlightening bit of trivia, Anon... :facepalm:

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