Don't Drink the Water. Eat the Pizza!

Just when you thought you'd heard it all....

A ruling from the European Food Standards Authority today has declared that it is illegal to claim that water prevents dehydration. No joke. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't read the article myself. Not only illegal to claim it, but punishable by 2 years in prison if you're caught doing just that. This after 21 scientists (surely they can't be called that now) decided that it is so - that dehydration is a clinical condition that drinking water cannot prevent from happening. Indeed, it seems heavily implied that you won't suffer dehydration if you stop drinking water. It boggles the mind, it really does.

In other new, pizza fans everywhere can rejoice! Pizza has been declared a vegetable because of the tomato paste. Yes, that's right, you all knew that's what your doctor meant when he said to eat 5 servings of vegetables a day. He was quietly telling you to down 5 slices of pizza a day. How did such a thing come to pass? Congress (yes, the US Congress) wants to pass a law declaring pizza (with tomato sauce) a vegetable as a means to cut costs involved in serving school lunches. So no, it's got nothing to do with your favorite Straw Hat or Papa John's special. It's that nasty shit they served in school that nobody wanted even on Friday.

Yes folks, the economy can burn and the world can purge itself in the fires of war, but by God, laws MUST be passed to ban water and hail pizza as the savior of man!
"It is pointless to resist, my son." -- Darth Vader
"Resistance is futile." -- The Borg
"Mother's coming for me in the dragon ships. I don't like these itchy clothes, but I have to wear them or it frightens the fish." -- Thurindil

Well. I guess that's that then.

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Posted on Nov 20, 2011 12:46 am by Samson in: | 14 comment(s) [Closed]
The last 3 paragraphs of the article are the most important here. No one is banning water, what it being banned is implying that there's something especially hydrating about bottled water. Tap water, gatorade, coffee (in reasonable amounts), tea, lemonade, and to a lessor extent beer are also hydrating.

I agree with Dallen on the business that this is really about preventing bottled water being advertised as expecially hydrating. It does seem an odd way to go about it though.

As for pizza...well...its not like our societies have severe obesity problems already (especially Australia and the US, these two countries are the least overweight places in the world - sarcasm). But then, knowing what school pizza can be like...

So I guess nobody's sarcasm detectors are working when parsing the last line of the post? I'm well aware the base issue is a silly EU action that is roughly equivalent to the US "truth in advertising" laws. Except, in this case, it's factually true that water (bottled or otherwise) prevents dehydration. Surely the EU has more pressing concerns, such as their continent wide debt issues?

Speak for yourself, man. Our school pizza was epic win.

Maybe their so depressed about their debt crisis that they're trying to distract themselves with this.

Water does not stop dehydration and it will kill you, if you have cholera. And while i get that they do no want water companys making outrageous claims about their product, have we really got to this level of stupidity that we need to have rules about things like this.

Edited by The_Fury on Nov 21, 2011 2:16 am
I wonder whats next, Extra Virgin Olive Oil needs a label saying no virgins were harmed in the making of this products?

Pizza is a super food, not a vegetable. It has every food group you need in one convenient package, it contains grains, dairy, fruit, vegetable and meat.

And im with Dwip on the school house pizza, ours had great ingredients, Bocconcini , fresh herbs like basil, oregano and parsley, fresh tomato, capsicum, onion, olives, pinapple and good quality low salt meats.What more could you ask for, 5 food groups in something you can pick up in your hand.

I can buy the pizza's we get at my school from the shops at a fifth of the price they go for. Not that I'd want to. They're basically a piece of we bread with low quality cheese, tomato sauce and processed ham placed in a thin layer on top.

Our school pizzas at every school I've ever been to were basically bulk processed "crust" with a layer of processed tomato something, topped with generic processed cheese and unknown varieties of processed meats. The whole thing was rather unappealing to look at and didn't taste much better.

For those familiar with the Little Caesar's brand here in the US (maybe only SoCal?) the school pizzas made their stuff seem like gormet.

It sounds like prettyfly had the same experience.

Thats my experience, as well. Little Caeser's does have franchises in Arizona and New Mexico, I haven't seen any here in Nebraska-yet. The only exception I can think of is the high school I went to in AZ got there pizza from Domino's - but then it was only a once in a while thing - and a completely random event what toppings you got.

More Euro zone stupidity, UK parliament wants to up the lending margin to 95% of the value of the property, stupid UK conservatives have forgotten about the Sub Prime mess already, bring on the next housing bubble. More over they want to sell current public housing to the tenets for 1/2 the current value and use that money to fun more public housing. Geeze.

Edited by The_Fury on Nov 21, 2011 7:20 pm
The only pizza chains remotely worth a shit are Round Table and Papa Murphy's, both of which may be specific to the west coast. For my part, I got spoiled living where I do - I'm not sure we even have a chain pizza place besides Papa Murphy's in town, since the four? independent choices are all so good. If there is one I couldn't tell you where.

Mohammed [Anon] said:
Comment #14 Nov 22, 2011 1:27 am
More Euro zone stupidity

What does the UK have to do with the Euro zone?

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