Iran Attacks Israel

In a surprise move earlier this morning Iran launched a nuclear attack against the State of Israel, destroying the cities of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. The bold and calculated maneuver took place during a visit by President Barack Obama and has left the Middle East in utter chaos. The Israeli military launched an immediate counterstrike against Tehran and several other large cities in Iran. In response Syria invaded northern Israel and is now occupying what remains of the West Bank. In his first official act after being sworn in as President, Joe Biden has ordered a full scale military assault on Iran. US forces should arrive in the area within the next few days to begin ground operations in Iran, Iraq, and in Israel to assist the Israelis in repelling the Syrian invasion.

North Korea and Pakistan have vowed to shoot down any US planes that are launched from Afghanistan to be used in operations against their allies in Iran. Both nations have become increasingly belligerent after the Japanese shot down a North Korean rocket launch in April of 2009 and formed what they termed a protective alliance against "US aggression" overseas, despite repeated assurances from then President Obama that no hostile action would be taken by the US against them.

The United Nations issued a strong condemnation of the Iranian actions and has threatened to impose Security Council sanctions against them as soon as the resolutions are passed. China has threatened to veto any attempt at punishment of Iran, which has once again raised tensions between China and the US. NATO allies are currently meeting in Brussels to decide on what action the alliance will take in response to the unprecedented aggression. It is not known who will be participating in any such NATO actions since the EU disarmed themselves back in early 2010 as a gesture of good will to the Iranians after they developed and tested their first nuclear bomb.

An emergency summit of the G6 nations has also been called in Australia to enact a contingency plan to cut off all funding of any type to Iran. Though the G6 is finally showing some backbone, such actions are too little too late now that the Iranians have made good on a threat they've been making since the middle of 2006. Cutting off funding now will do little more than anger the sleeping giant the world has created.

In this dark hour, all we can do is pray that the situation does not get any worse than it has, and that finally the world will unite to put an end to Islamic fascism and aggression in the Middle East. Sadly, it seems it has taken a tragedy of biblical proportions to get anyone to act.

[EDIT: This was originally dated as April 1, 2011 and has been reset to restore normal post flow.]
"It is pointless to resist, my son." -- Darth Vader
"Resistance is futile." -- The Borg
"Mother's coming for me in the dragon ships. I don't like these itchy clothes, but I have to wear them or it frightens the fish." -- Thurindil

Well. I guess that's that then.

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Posted on Apr 1, 2009 2:43 pm by Samson in: , | 7 comment(s) [Closed]
This would be a lot more believable if it you'd remembered to modify the dates. Since, You know, it's not 2010 yet. :P

Perhaps you missed this?

Posted on Apr 1, 2011 12:43 pm

Where else was I supposed to put it? And yes, though it was meant as an April Fool's post, it also doubles as a future commentary rooted in current events. Which apparently nobody was interested in until just now. *shrug*

Sorry, would've posted sooner but was on the road without internet for the last few days.. have you considered using this as a plot for a new movie? Movies of this nature seem to be pretty hot right now...

Heh. Not a bad idea. So yeah. Any Hollywood types out there reading this, steal my idea and you'll regret it! You're not far enough away from me to hide!

It would make a great movie plot. Especially since we're about to find out if the first root event is about to happen.

I gather from the news I was hearing on the radio as I drove across Texas tonight that it did in fact happen, almost precisely as you'd predicted in the post above. Let's hope that the rest doesn't come true as well.

Well the rocket was launched but Japan flinched and didn't shoot it down, despite the rocket passing directly over Japanese airspace. Had it been me, I'd have shot the damn thing down. Satellite photos from the area immediately before the launch showed no signs of any satellite payload on the rocket. It was very clearly a ballistic missile test. So now the weak pansy UN people are going to meet tomorrow to discuss how to spank North Korea for this. Don't count on a damn thing being done about it. So the second half of it will come true. No hostile action. I'd really hate to only be wrong about this very first part. But it isn't shaping up that way.

I'd really hate for you to only be wrong about Japan's retaliation too, nuclear warfare is definitely no joke when we're talking about real nukes. Though I still think that all sorts of trouble could've been avoided if either Bush Sr. had sent in Seal Team Six to take out Hussain the first time or if Bush Jr. had just turned the middle east (specifically Iraq & Afghanistan) into a glass skating rink...

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