John Carter

Captured by a cavalry officer after deserting from the Civil War, John Carter plots his escape. Sure enough, the colonel's bumbling private falls for the old piss on the floor trick. After stealing the colonel's horse, John makes a mad dash into the Arizona desert to escape, only to then run into a band of Apaches. After the cavalry arrives, John finds a cave to take shelter in. Just when things looked safe, John is forced to shoot an unknown traveler, and is accidentally transported to Mars by the alien's amulet.

While the introductory portion of this may sound lame, th story quickly gets its legs once John is on Mars and rather than a crappy low budget science fiction piece, you end up with something quite different. Mars is dying. There has been a vast war being fought here for ages, and the end is about to come. The predator city of Zodanga has all but defeated its enemies in Helium.

The movie has a great backstory that builds things up to just the right moment before switching to where the bulk of the story takes place. Once there, you find plenty of well developed deep issues such as tribal politics, alliances of convenience, and of course the sparks of romance. Our first encounter with the Tharks, 8 foot tall skinny green creatures with tusks, starts out an awful lot like a parallel to the Apaches. Over time though, this image of them changes into something much more. Helium is home to scientists and academics, one of whom is on the verge of an incredible breakthrough, only to have that snatched away at the last moment as the enemy is bearing down on them. All in all, the characters and their motivations have solid roots and none of it seems out of place.

Special effects complement everything rather than stealing the show. Sure, there are fancy ships, "fliers" that sail on light rather than the water. Exotic weapons, and of course, the super advanced aliens with their own out of this world abilities that seem as magic to those who don't understand them. All of which is presented in a seamless manner and doesn't distract things with bombs and explosions going off every minute.

Perhaps the most surprising thing of all though is that the movie isn't laced with profanities like most things done in the last 10 years, and the romance parts aren't displayed in full detail sex scenes like practically everything churned out by Hollywood in the last 20. Proving of course that you can have a major budget film with good story, and good characters, not turn into the same old drivel with cursing and nudity everywhere you turn.

So if you're looking to satisfy that need for good sci-fi, you can't go wrong with John Carter. Ignore the critics, as usual they know not what they've just seen. For the curious, this movie is based on the book "A Princess of Mars" by Edgar Rice Bouroughs, published in 1917. The author has a cameo character in the movie. Pretty genius stuff for a guy who probably had no idea how viable some of his creations were.

On the Horizon

Coming in May, The Avengers. The movie that will bring together all of the various Marvel Avengers characters for the first time. Previews of this look really good.

Also in May, Men in Black III. Although who the hell knows if I'll bother. I think the MiB thing has long since gotten old.

They're also doing Spiderman and Batman reboots in July. Again. God, haven't we seen enough already?

As another insult to movie fans everywhere, Total Recall is getting a reboot in August. Spare us.

Things are bleak until December when The Hobbit finally sees the light of day.
.........................
"It is pointless to resist, my son." -- Darth Vader
"Resistance is futile." -- The Borg
"Mother's coming for me in the dragon ships. I don't like these itchy clothes, but I have to wear them or it frightens the fish." -- Thurindil

Well. I guess that's that then.

       
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Posted on Mar 17, 2012 6:30 pm by Samson in: | 26 comment(s) [Closed]
Comments
Edgar, not Edward, btw.

Why I know this about a dude whose books I've never read, I have no idea.

I have nothing more to add here, really.

       
WTF, where did I get Edward from? Fixed!

       
Anonymous [Anon] said:
Comment #3 Mar 17, 2012 9:47 pm
Some poor sod posted a MUD ad and got this drivel back:

Remember that this is very much a job interview...but you're not interviewing candidates. You are the candidate. You are showing us why you're the right person to run the mud, and what skills and experience you bring to that job.


Why do these asshats in mudding think they better than everyone? Try this shit with a real job interview. See how far you get.

       
Samson said:

The author has a cameo character in the movie.
Bouroughs is still alive?!? :surprised:
Otherwise, sounds like a pretty good movie. Even before reading this though, I'd already been thinking that I was looking forward to this one hitting DVD just from the ads I've seen. :biggrin:

Samson said:

Coming in May, The Avengers. The movie that will bring together all of the various Marvel Avengers characters for the first time. Previews of this look really good.

That should be pretty good, though I really have to wonder what's up with Hollywood's recent (renewed?) fascination with comic book characters, but at least it's giving them some "fresh" material... :rolleyes:

Samson said:

Also in May, Men in Black III. Although who the hell knows if I'll bother. I think the MiB thing has long since gotten old.

Actually, I partially agree: I was really hoping they'd continue this franchise a bit further, but this next installment is so far overdue that I think most of the fan base for it has probably already moved on. :blues:

Samson said:

They're also doing Spiderman and Batman reboots in July. Again. God, haven't we seen enough already?

Here I agree entirely. Both Batman and Spiderman made for great ongoing series back in the 50s as comics and again in the 70s as cartoons, but as movies they just take too long between the episodes and they last too long per episode to continue to contain the audience's attention effectively, add to that the way Hollywood feels the need to compress several episodes into each movie so that too much is going on at a time to fully care about any individual bad guy.. I'm tired of them already too. :sad:

Samson said:

As another insult to movie fans everywhere, Total Recall is getting a reboot in August. Spare us.

Are they going somewhere with this that they didn't the first time? It's not like the original movie left us room for a sequel, everything was answered and resolved by the end of the film. It's not even like they're colorizing it.. so, what's the point? :facepalm:

Samson said:

Things are bleak until December when The Hobbit finally sees the light of day.

Can it possibly be better than The Hobbit given to us back in 1977? Frankly, I'm still disappointed with The Lord of the Rings series for no including the awesome music from Return of the King, I mean, how could you possibly omit songs like:

or:

(Okay, granted the animated Return of the King had some major flaws and felt like it's production was as rushed as it really was, but.. still, you gotta admit that they had some really cool songs. :wink: )

Dwip said:

Why I know this about a dude whose books I've never read, I have no idea.

God only knows I can't blame you for that, Bouroughs writing style was boring as hell, he just takes way too long to get to his story in the telling.. said as a kindness. His stories were quite good, if only he could've found someone more entertaining to do the actual telling. :sad:

Anonymous said:

Some poor sod posted a MUD ad and got this drivel back:

Zeno McDohl said:

Remember that this is very much a job interview...but you're not interviewing candidates. You are the candidate. You are showing us why you're the right person to run the mud, and what skills and experience you bring to that job.


Why do these asshats in mudding think they better than everyone? Try this shit with a real job interview. See how far you get.

There you go, I fixed the attribution for you. Yes, folks, that's right, this quoted response came from Zeno, but it really wasn't stated in a fashion that implied he thought anyone was better than anyone else, and he even did continue beyond that quote to explain what he meant a bit, further, his response was to a post advertising for builders and coders with awfully specific requirements. Frankly, I think if someone were to want to point out the drivel on TMC of late, there are far better threads that could be pointed out, such as the completely useless drivel about how all the other threads always seem to go found in this thread. In any event, I'm sure we all thank our anonymous friend for bringing such an important bit of MUD trivia to our attention within the context of a movie review thread that has absolutely nothing to do with the MUDding world in any way... :headbang:

       
Edited by Samson on Apr 1, 2012 10:05 pm
Bouroughs is still alive?!?

Er, no. His character is in the movie. He himself is very much dead and buried. Wasn't sure how to word it really. Apparently he did this with the book, inserting himself into his story, so they simply rolled with it in the movie. Considering there are 11 books in the series it also stands to reason we'll see sequels before long. The ending of the movie left it open enough for the possibility.

Can it possibly be better than The Hobbit given to us back in 1977?

Uh, yes, because for me, the animated stuff was just lame.

Re: The MUD thing. I saw that last night but was too tired to understand. Or so I though. I look at it now and still don't understand. Who is interviewing for what? If it's Zeno's contention that an interview candidate grill their potential boss about whether or not they're fit to run the MUD (or company) then I don't see this ending well. So yes, in that sense, the Anon has a point. If someone tried that at a real interview that would be the end of it. Unless by some great stroke of luck the boss was looking for someone with the balls to question that.

That said, the last time I looked at TMC, there was some dude named Jodah running around trolling all the threads. Amusing on so many levels. A troll among trolls.

       
Ah, that makes a little more sense then, though I guess I'll have to wait to see the actual movie to see exactly what you mean about his character. Yeah, it was a pretty lengthy series, and each of the books was a bit dry reading, despite the good stories behind them. Now if Hollywood would create a movie franchise based on the Gor series, that might be amusing, especially in light of the protests and cries for censorship that would undoubtedly ensue. ;)

Well, ok, the animations were lame (particularly The Return of the King) and I did mention, myself, that they were badly flawed, but the songs were epic and not including them in the non-animated versions was a shame. :shrug:

The funny part of that is that it is specifically what all these interview training resources out there always tell one to do. You're supposed to be interviewing the company as much as the hiring manager is interviewing you. In practice, I agree, there are always more applicants than hiring managers so it's not really practical to go in thinking that you're going to grill the interviewer. On the other hand, with muds one generally can afford to be quite picky about which mud you're willing to interview with... either way, I really don't think Zeno's response was "holier than thou" in any intentional way.

Yup, Jodah's still trolling the trolls nearly daily to the same net effect that he seemed to produce initially.

       
I'm not a huge fan of musicals. I find the entire concept lame on its face, so I for one am glad they left out the sudden break into song moments. It's my "this breaks my immersion" thing.

The thing about most of those interview training resources? They don't apply to the real world. Things like that are developed inside the bubble of academia. It sounds good on paper, but it doesn't work in practice. You can be choosy about who you apply for a job with, and you should have at least done some background research and such to know what you're getting into, but that doesn't give you a green light to grill the interviewer. Most of the ones I've ever heard from consider doing that an extremely arrogant thing.

       
It's not exactly a musical, in fact, it wasn't even what you could fairly call a sudden break into song moment. The song Frodo of the Nine Fingers was sung in the movie by a bard who was introduced by the elven council as having been charged, after the fact, with telling the tale of Frodo's destruction of the One Ring and the song Where there's a whip there's a way was being sung as a marching cadence by the orcs on their way to war. Each to his own, I suppose.

I agree with that assessment of the majority of interview training resources, and said as much in my own post, but it is what they're feeding the entirety of academia these days. If I was the hiring manager and some prospective employee tried to turn the interview around on me thusly, I too would simply move on to the next candidate in the stack of applications. Especially these days when there is such an abundance of applicants for EVERY available position.

       
Yes, folks, that's right, this quoted response came from Zeno, but it really wasn't stated in a fashion that implied he thought anyone was better than anyone else, and he even did continue beyond that quote to explain what he meant a bit, further,


I think the point here Conner is, who cares. The same bunch of elitist trolls do whatever they can to point out the deficiencies in some new guys post because they are scared the new guy might steal the 3 players and 4 staff they have. Does it matter to Zeno what this guy posts? Is Zeno even a potential staffer for this game? Does Zeno even care? Nope, it is all about waving the epeen about like a sword and showing how leet you are to the cool kids like Cratylus.

And Zeno is wrong, as is always pointed out on MB, this is my sandbox and i will do it how i want, i think its kind of perposterous to think that the guy whose game it is, has to apply to the trolls for their approval to run his game, crap post, gets crap responces, crap game with narrow vision gets no staff, we all know that, this game will not be there in 6 months time, so why bother even trolling it up with the you need to be MY KIND of professional troll.

You wouold think by now that these tools have grown up and got over there is someone wrong on the internet mentality. Oh and thanks for the review on this movie Samson, i was tossing up weather to go see this or wait for it on dvd or download it on bitotrrent if i could not mka eup my mind, I think they will get my money and i will go see it at the cinema.

       
Edited by The_Fury on Mar 18, 2012 2:41 pm
Hey Fury, how's it going?

I hear what you're saying, and I often wonder why I still follow the discussion summary from TMC at all, but I don't think Zeno meant it the way that Anonymous implied. Irregardless of the fact that you're right, there really wasn't any reason for Zeno to chime up in response to that post in the first place. :shrug:

As for the review, it sounds like it would be worth the price of admission, but with five to pay for, two of whom aren't old enough to even try to follow the story, and all the other things I need to be paying for first, I'll still await the DVD release myself. ;)

       
As for the review, it sounds like it would be worth the price of admission, but with five to pay for, two of whom aren't old enough to even try to follow the story, and all the other things I need to be paying for first, I'll still await the DVD release myself. ;)


I hear ya, the movies used to be a cheep night out, but if i was to take 5 people to see a move here, by the time you add in softdrink and popcorn it would likely be aover $120. Where as the DVD rental is what $5. Kind of makes ecoonomic sence doesnt it to wait a couplde of months and get the DVD. Lucky for me, its only me going :) so i can see it on the big screen and not have my wallet raped by vultures.

       
That's why I like our local Harkins. They have a deal where you can buy a "loyalty cup" for drinks. First shot is $4.75 which is pretty ridiculous, but you can bring it back as many times as you like for the rest of the year and get refills for $1.00. If you buy a loyalty shirt, you can also get a free medium popcorn on every visit for the rest of the year, or pay $1.00 for a large. So a trip to the show for one person can run $10 even, which isn't a bad deal at all. Especially since the normal price for a large popcorn would pay for a large pizza.

       
Thats a pretty good deal, on the cheepest day here, Tues, an adult ticket and drink popcorn combo would cost $25, and on a normal day $30. Boy we are getting screwed over big time :)

       
That's not a bad deal at all, especially if it's just one, or even two, people going. Unfortunately, we don't have a Harkins here, so we're stuck with $8-10 for just the ticket plus your standard highway robbery for the concessions, for 5 people (especially considering neither the 4 or the 5 year old are likely to be held anything close to captivated by the movie anyway)... versus buying a copy of the movie on DVD for $20 or renting it for $5.. hell, even getting it by pay per view for $4.. there's just not a consideration involved here of where I'm spending that kind of money, the difference can pay my water bill instead and I'll still have something left over towards feed for my animals. ;)

       
welcome back conner! (hug) !!!

       
Thanks, Dallen, how have you been while I was busy dealing with school for the last.. feels like forever about now..? Seems we don't have a hug emoticon here, go figure. well, hug back to ya'. :)

       
Oh feel the love.:)

On another note, did you guys in the US hear about Clive Palmer, an Aussie mining magnate who thinks the CIA is funding the Green party in Aussie to bring down the coal industry. ;) Im not joking either, this clown is tin foil hat serious and is the biggest donater to the conservative parties, (Liberals) here in Austland.

       
@The_Fury; I'm somewhat sympathetic to Clive Palmer because what he's done has brought immense wealth to the area I live in. He's willing to take risks with his money and because of this employs thousands of people who earn wages well above the average (i.e. $120,000 a year to drive around an enormous truck all day. And when they hurt themselves, my family gets $90 p/h to fix them up :tongue: ). As for the greens themselves, I don't like them (suppose you fall into the first category), but I don't think they're part of some conspiracy to destroy the world either. Although I can understand why Clive may be that way inclined.

And before I finish, I think I need to make some common ground very clear here; Tony Abbot can go fuck himself.

       
Um, no, can't say I'd heard about Clive Palmer or his rantings. :shrug:

       
prettyfly said:

Tony Abbot can go fuck himself.


To hear you say this is surprising, since every time you've mentioned the guy previously, it's been with such loving and affectionate tones...

...actually I'm pretty sure I've seen that precise phrase used in various threads several times now. I'm amused.

       
Dwip said:

To hear you say this is surprising, since every time you've mentioned the guy previously, it's been with such loving and affectionate tones...

...actually I'm pretty sure I've seen that precise phrase used in various threads several times now. I'm amused.


Me say that about Abbot? No, never.... :grinning:

       
I watched this yesterday Your Highness and while it was full of cheesy humor, i think it was well worth the watch. This movie is very low brow, and kind of like Naked Gun 3 1/2 crossed with Lords of the Rings and Highlander. Very much a Sunday arvo boredom breaker dvd. Let the Fuckening Begin.

       
The last movie of that caliber that I actually enjoyed was SpaceBalls. I've grown up too much for that level of humor in that sort of quantity, I suppose.

       
I have very good memories of watching SpaceBalls while spending the night on a boat at the great barrier reef. In fact, I generally associate SpaceBalls with the reef as a result.

       
Spaceballs was classic. Then again, a lot of Mel Brooks movies were high quality comedy. What Hollywood tries to pass for comedy today is either completely lame slapstick crap, or borderline porn.

       
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