Of Marx and Rocks
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!"
At this moment, a brave Navy SEAL who had served 15 tours of duty stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock?"
The professor smirked arrogantly and replied "4.6 billion years. Idiot"
"Wrong. It's 5,000 years old. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk. He stormed out of the room.
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day. An eagle flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day.
"It is pointless to resist, my son." -- Darth Vader
"Resistance is futile." -- The Borg
"Mother's coming for me in the dragon ships. I don't like these itchy clothes, but I have to wear them or it frightens the fish." -- Thurindil
Well. I guess that's that then.
That's why it hasn't evolved yet
Also...worshiping Karl Marx? I don't think to many liberal professors would be into that. So he started an innovative new historical method and came up with an idea for how society could function that looks good on paper (but doesn't work). I'm no more inclined to worship him than say, Von Ranke, which is to say, not at all and i think its a view the vast majority of liberals would stand by.
Also, parody, woo?
The eagle was a nice touch though, you can't go wrong with crying eagles.
Second link doesn't do anything other than bolster my point. They sued to grant illegal aliens the right to carry concealed weapons. If you can't see why this is a dangerously bad progressive policy on their part, well.....