Of Marx and Rocks

This one seems to be making the rounds in chain letter land, but I couldn't resist helping to spread it :P

A liberal ACLU lawyer professor was teaching a class on Karl Marx.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known!"

At this moment, a brave Navy SEAL who had served 15 tours of duty stood up and held up a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The professor smirked arrogantly and replied "4.6 billion years. Idiot"

"Wrong. It's 5,000 years old. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk. He stormed out of the room.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day. An eagle flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day.

Semper Fi.

"It is pointless to resist, my son." -- Darth Vader
"Resistance is futile." -- The Borg
"Mother's coming for me in the dragon ships. I don't like these itchy clothes, but I have to wear them or it frightens the fish." -- Thurindil

Well. I guess that's that then.

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Posted on Apr 3, 2012 8:51 pm by Samson in: | 12 comment(s) [Closed]
I...wait, what?

indeed, it's a rare piece of political satire that gets both sides going "what did I just read".

The part where it makes no sense is really getting me, here. Like, there are words, and paragraphs, but the paragraphs don't really connect to each other and


Anonymous [Anon] said:
Comment #4 Apr 4, 2012 12:37 am
If the rock is 4.6 billion years old, it's something very special indeed. It can only be a meteorite.

That's why it hasn't evolved yet

As anonymous notes, indeed. That professor really needs to get a check up on his geology if he thinks that some random rock could be that old. Although rocks don't generally evolve into animals, despite what the navy seal suggests. Generally it takes water-bound organic compounds (admitably, exactly how they transcend into single celled organism's remains unknown).

Also...worshiping Karl Marx? I don't think to many liberal professors would be into that. So he started an innovative new historical method and came up with an idea for how society could function that looks good on paper (but doesn't work). I'm no more inclined to worship him than say, Von Ranke, which is to say, not at all and i think its a view the vast majority of liberals would stand by.

You may be taking the supposed logic of this particular chain email slightly too seriously.

Also, parody, woo?

Edited by Dwip on Apr 4, 2012 2:03 am
I know I am...but...I don't know...it just felt right to take it seriously

I'm not sure it was meant to be taken entirely as a serious commentary. Chain letters rarely resemble the original form. There may indeed have been a liberal professor teaching a class on Marx who was confronted by a conservative student on something, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't about the lack of evolution in some random rock.

The eagle was a nice touch though, you can't go wrong with crying eagles.

Anonymous [Anon] said:
Comment #9 Apr 4, 2012 4:32 am
What's so terribly wrong about the ACLU by the way? I thought civil liberties, particularily freedom of speech, were considered a good thing...

They are, but the ACLU is well known to only care about filing lawsuits to protect the civil liberties of liberals. They'd just as soon hang all the conservatives. They've also morphed into a decidedly anti-American group who will defend vigorously your rights if you're a non-citizen but tend to not care one bit if you are a citizen.

Well, that was easy enough.

First link was a publicity stunt, and if you read the article you'll know why. Nobody saw that coming, because it's not their usual behavior. Other angles to it include exploiting the situation to wedge a back door for later use in advocating for drug users' "right" to conceal that information.

Second link doesn't do anything other than bolster my point. They sued to grant illegal aliens the right to carry concealed weapons. If you can't see why this is a dangerously bad progressive policy on their part, well.....

Edited by Samson on Apr 4, 2012 4:42 pm
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